yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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