Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
