I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Randomize
