its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
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