We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
Randomize
