the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
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