member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize