if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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