Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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