dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
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