like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Randomize
