hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
