Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
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