I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
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Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
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I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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