the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
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at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
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I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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