why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
