I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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