i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
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