On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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