she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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