So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
Of course I have a pirate flag
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
