We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
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