just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Randomize
