I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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