So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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