By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
