our cab driver is having phone sex.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize