ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
