I want to stick my p in your. b.
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
