i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
