Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
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