He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
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