Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
Randomize
