You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
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