As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
