just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
