They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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