i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
