Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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