walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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