erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
