Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
Your dad touched me again.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
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