You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize