it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
You were trust falling into bushes
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