I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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