found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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