idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize
