dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
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