I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
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