idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
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Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
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Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
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