i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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