We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize