if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
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