therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
