Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
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throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
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The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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