I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
