I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Randomize
