whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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