Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize