That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
