Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
